It's 31 degrees here today. I checked the Singapore weather and it is a max of 31 there too. I can't decide which is worse. The hot dry scorching heat or the humidity. Then again there's the haze back home thanks to the slash and burn season in Indonesia. But then again, back home, there's air con in every single room in the house! Over here, the fans are all in the garage cos it's still supposed to be cold season. Global warming.

Oh phooey.

I'm stressed. It's 5 weeks to the end of the semester and the largest biggest exam of all my medical school years and I still have 4 assignments to do! Aiz, and people ask why I am cranky and grumpy and hiding away from everything.

I'm in the library now. The entire library is chocker-blockers full, probably because the rest of sane society starts their exams in slightly over a week, plus it is broiling out there. I walked to and from uni twice today cos my skirt was coming loose and I felt for the sake of decency I had better change it.

It's even too hot to eat. I would really like an ice cream or an icy pole though.

Excuse my rambling. I'm just going through one of those I am so stressed I think I am unravelling at the seams phases again.

Too much has been happening I guess.

It is at these times I just want to be back in Singapore. Cos I can just study. No need to worry about meals and laundry and how messy your room is. No need to worry about people cos your family accepts you for who you are bar the scolding and the nagging. It's strange. We don't seem to get hurt as much by our own family as we do our close friends. Have you ever wondered why that is so?

I miss Daddy's herbal chicken, Mummy's soup and her clean clean clean kitchen... I miss my TVB... I miss my choir days... I even miss that sister of mine.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.........

I think doing psychiatry hasn't helped me too much cos I think I am going as crazy as the patients. Some guy broke a plastic chair with his bare hands yesterday. The consultant felt it might be a good idea to let him loose on the open ward cos he felt it was the stress of being cooped up in seclusion that was causing the aggra behaviour. All of us went... UMMMMMMMM....

Oh God, just help me let go. I just need to let go.

Make My Life A Sacrifice
;10:46 PM

---