Make My Life A Sacrifice
Anyways.. last nite was Beyong the 4th Dimension..our evangelistic rally.. well.... tiring and all... but well... had core team just now and we were discussing it and all... about it's effectiveness and all....
Am sooo tired..am going out country next week :( boo..I really don't want to go..
Anyways.. I wrote a testimony for bulletin last week..decided to paste it here..Ruth said people commented it was good..oh wells....
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Many people like to ask God, “Why?” I used to be like that. I had to see a reason behind every single situation I faced. Then came a day when I couldn’t find an answer to my why.
Sometime last December, someone close to my heart passed away suddenly. My church choir conductor from back home, Shook Fund, and her son Darryl drowned while on holiday in Krabi. The unexpected news came as a huge shock and the pain that came along with it was overwhelming.
After it happened, I just kept questioning God why He allowed it to happen. I could not see why something so bad could happen to someone so good. Shook Fund was one of the nicest people I knew and she led an exemplary Christian life. Everything was just incomprehensible.
Apart from my incessant questioning, the hurt and pain from the entire incident was also dragging me down. Memories of Shook Fund and Darryl brought much sadness and tears. The slightest trigger of a memory would bring me down for a good part of the day.
It came to a point where I knew I couldn’t go on like that anymore as I was edging on the point where I was accusing God for doing something wrong. I knew I had to put the entire thing behind me. Finally, one day, I spent some time talking to someone about the entire issue and after a while, I asked the person whether she ever asked God why things happened. Her reply was simple. She said yes, we do ask God questions, but it is when we cannot get the answers to our whys that we learn to put our trust in God and as such, our faith in God will grow. Something in that answer convicted me that day and things took a turn.
I’ve learnt is that it’s not so important to know the reason behind everything that happens in life. God sometimes has secrets which He chooses not to reveal to us for reasons far beyond our understanding. As it says in Deuteronomy 29:29 "The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law” God doesn’t have to reveal His secrets to us and when He does, it is our privilege.
It is when we can’t find answers that faith comes in. Hebrews 11:1 says , “Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Sometimes God puts us in situations beyond our human understanding in reasoning to test our faith.
One more thing I learnt is to cling onto the promises of God. The hurt and pain from the fact that I won’t be able to see Shook Fund again in this lifetime haven’t entirely faded away but I know that one day I will get to meet her and Darryl once again, on that beautiful shore.
The lyrics from one of Shook Fund’s favourite songs say it all:
Instead of asking why did it happen
Think of where it can lead you from here
And as your pain is slowly easing, you will find a greater reason
To live your life triumphant through the tears
When answers aren’t enough there is Jesus
He is more than just an answer to your prayer
And your heart will find a safe and secret refuge
When answers aren’t enough He is there
;11:42 PM
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About me
Ivy Ong
Child of God
Fina; Year Medical Student
Melbourne, Victoria, Australia